I was in class II, we were moving out of Allahabad to Jaipur. I had spent my entire childhood here. I was in tears and crying to Mom, “Why do we have to go, let’s stay here”
The same thing happened when we were moving out of Ahmadabad. I had one of the best schools and best of friends. I did not want to leave to start everything new yet again. No!
Then Dad told me something- “If water is kept constant, not allowed to flow, it will get contaminated eventually. It needs to flow on its course, with full velocity, and gain its vivaciousness. “
Today, Delhi is my home since last 12 years.
Change is constant and is only for a greater good.
Being this as my first post, I thought of publishing it on my birthday. Better late than never, I start off with sharing all the wisdom and gyaan that I’ve gathered in these 22 years of my existence 🙂
1. Getting inspired and inspiring others
I have read books, followed stories, opened my eyes and have become more aware of my surroundings.
Everyday there are zillion of things ready to inspire us. Get fascinated by a movie or a character or a real-person for that matter. Be open to read through the words, scramble up some thoughts and spend time with them.
More than often, we get so caught up with our monotony and restricted to our OWN ideas that we refuse to learn or get inspired. We feel that’s interfering with our own beliefs.
Moreover, sharing our inspirations inspire others and who knows we end up making a difference in someone’s life.
2. Believe in your dreams
Even though I’m a self proclaimed DREAMER, it hasn’t been all rosy since ever. I confess I have dreamt of dreadful nightmares more. I used to see dreams as escapism and never believed them to come true or so.
But when I saw my fears coming alive, I realized how everything we dream of can come true. I think the fact that a wish comes to our mind is a reason good enough to believe it can come true. Pursue it.
I am always thankful for even the fact that we all are at a point in lives where we can dare to dream. Being a part of the NGO, I talk to kids in my class and realize how difficult it is for them to even dream or hope.
3. Every cloud has a silver lining
There are no problems-only opportunities. The world sees us as we see ourselves. We tend to slip by the darkness. I have experienced that all problems are directed with an aim to guide us to a greater possibility.
I have never had an outstanding academic record in college. Had I, maybe then I’d have never followed my love for writing.
4. Finding what I love and following it
Better late than never but I have realized how important it is to choose your career wisely. It’s something we have to spend our life with. We are so tangled in our societal norms that we just follow what comes our way. I think we are somehow conditioned in a way which doesn’t give us enough space to even imagine that one could “enjoy” their work. Work is made to be boring and forceful. It’s not a party.
But few experiences in life and some courage to break the odds, I have managed to catch a glimpse of something which could excite me.
And, I aspire to follow it. Maybe the journey wouldn’t be that much of a struggle then..
5. Accepting different idiosyncratic personalities
As a teenager, I had a very hard time comprehending why don’t people understand me. I have certain ideas, opinions and ideologies and it’s always not possible to convince others of the same. As a result, I would feel infuriated and disheartened of not sharing the same cup of coffee.
But over the years, I have learnt to accept that each individual carries a different school of thought. They are both black-n-white, as much as I am. The least I can do is to accept it and learn from their perspectives. Putting it forth like, “Yes, that’s how I think but if you think the other way, well, to each his own”, just makes it easier for both the parties. Peace.
6. Forgive. Let Go.
Like all of you, I have also seen friends drifting apart with heartbreak and disappointments, and it just hurts too much. We feel so anguished, cheated, vengeful and feel like shutting them over forever. We gave a part of us to them and they just broke us. How could they do this?
But does this vengeance allow us to breathe freely? Keeping grudges might not do anything to them, but it will surely destroy our own peace of mind. It’s difficult. It’s very difficult to accept an apology they might not have even asked for. Sending them some love, light and compassion is, however, the only way you can let it go. I have learnt that ‘Forgiveness’ is the sole catalyst to fill in the void in your heart.
7. Spread love. Be welcoming!
I am quite reserved and an introvert. I was seen as snobbish too. But honestly, I just wasn’t able to ‘express’ all good things I have in my heart. They just wouldn’t surface over my actions. I would restrict myself, hold myself back and be wary of welcoming new things or people in my life.
But last few years, I have tried to open myself up, speak up all the good things and not just bottle them up and sulk over it. Meeting new people, learning their stories and perspectives just give you a new way to look at life. I think spreading love makes us feel loved too 🙂
8. Appreciating little things
While mulling over BIG things in life, we overlook the little ones. These are the ones which unreasonably bring a BIG smile to my face. They don’t have a starting or an ending point. They are static.
Will my life would be the same without smacking up the gol-gappe’s or momos every evening? Will my life would be the same without singing KKHH or DDLJ songs in one breath? Nothing was more beautiful at the snowy hill top in Gulmarg than the hot spicy Maggi! Doesn’t a good rain song and mitti-ki-khushboo just make up for all our traffic woes on a rainy day? The moon, the stars, the winds, the stories-they all give us enough reasons to smile on our knotty days. We just need to smile back 🙂
9. Appreciating the people in your life.
Compliment them. Let them know when they make you happy.
These things always matter. They are not easily understood. We can make somebody’s
day by just expressing a part of us which cares for them.
10. Appreciate yourself. Accept your flaws beautifully.
Wow, I look so pretty today!
Hehehe…All my burgers are here Such a cutie paunch 😛
11. Joke around with yourself.
Okay, so now I think life need not be taken that seriously always. It’s funny to put your lame silly side up sometimes. Why be shy? We all have it. Joke around-with others and yourself. Laughing on oneself takes a lot of heart. And I have a thing for those who do it. [And, now I have a thing for myself too :P]
O yes, and I have started jumping on my bed too. [No, this wasn’t normal for me two years back]
12. Trust and love your friends a whole lot, but be a free spirit-maintain your individuality
I am among those who have few beautiful friends. If I have a friend,it’s mostly forever. But, there are times when I get too consumed, too attached and too possessive. Maybe because I love them so much that I appreciate all that they are and lose myself to their identities.
Over the last few phases, the realization has hit me. I am working towards it (Y)
13. Let’s not even compare!
As clichéd as it may sound, it’s really difficult. There are days when we feel too fat, too grumpy, too ugly, too worthless, too alone- in short we don’t understand the very reason why are we even here? What am I even doing with my life? And then there is Instagram overflowing with beautiful, successful women to which you feel like-“They have it so perfect!”
But the truth is, they have their own share of struggles. Pictures and social media just capture the best moments of your life. They filter away what goes behind reaching from one happy moment to another.
14. Its okay to take care of your own happiness
For me, ever since I’ve been into existence, saying a NO has been extremely difficult. I was amongst those kids who would happily give away all their toys to friends. As I grew up, the idea of guilt and fear of hurting someone became quite huge. I would suppress my feelings and they would creep out in the most negative manner. And I think that was wrong.
One cannot be happy, nor can they make anybody else happy, till the time they themselves are happy. So, I think it’s really okay to just do what makes you happy rather than trying to make someone else happy and failing terribly at it.
15. Dress up nicely
The days when we have blow-dried hair, pretty done up nails and a nice dress on – how fabulously confident we feel! “Ahaan, I might just meet a friend today”. And then the days when we are in our dreaded pajamas and pray the all mighty- “No not today, No One Please!!”
Dress the way you would like to see yourself. No, not being cakey, fancy and spending a bomb. I am just talking about taking care of your appearance to make yourself feel good-take efforts for yourself.
16. Family: I will come back home to find them. Who else?
Ah! There are these moments when you feel the whole universe has abandoned you. You come back home crying and you see your parents and sister there and it just feels okay. You pretend to be okay; for them. Somehow, it strengthens us.
17. One kind giveaway
This happens. I was driving to office and had my lunch box with me. On the red light, a girl came to my car asking for alms. I don’t believe in giving money. I had a cupcake. I gave it to her. That million dollar smile is irreplaceable! It made my day.
18. Understand what you can’t give away and let them know. Be Honest.
I think the world is losing its honesty. People try to be diplomatic and considerate, maybe, but dishonesty has no excuse. I think we need to let people know what we can give them and what not. Staying quiet, leading it all the way heightens their expectations and we lay the burden of trashing them into pieces.
19. Learning new things.
I took up French lessons in my gap year, randomly. Learning up a new language has its own charm. You learn so much about their place, culture, people and more importantly, we learn to embrace something not of our own.
PS: I think I need to learn a dance form now. HIGH TIME!
20. Hold up against EGO
It consumes you.
A lot of people can’t say ‘Sorry’ or even ‘Thank You’. Can’t even simply compliment you.
What is it holding back?
Please refrain from it.
21. Let’s stop cribbing about all the wrong in our lives
Girls love to gossip and no, that’s not just about the tacky dress ABC wore on that XYZ party. We share and discuss and analyze and crib over our miseries.
“Dude, My life is worse than you. No, grass is greener on the other side. I’m worse off.”
And there, everybody is worse off! Cribbing is unhealthy. It invites 100 more negative thoughts and actions.
Just imagine how good beautiful talks could do 🙂
22. Live In The Moment
Consumed by the thoughts of tomorrow, we forget the today. I am a hard core dreamer. I get drifted away so bad. I have to literally drag myself to present. I have spoiled a lot of moments in my present life thinking about yesterday-n- tomorrow.
The following lines made quite much sense to me.
“Try to learn to breathe deeply, really to taste food when you eat, and when you sleep, really to sleep. Try as much as possible to be wholly alive with all your might, and when you laugh, laugh like hell. And when you get angry, get good and angry. Try to be alive. You will be dead soon enough.”
Phew, Thank God! I have not turned 80!!!
“23rd thing which I’ve learned today is that being a writer you need to bare your soul, be vulnerable and give it all up your inhibitions, desires, secrets, and words which never touched your lips.”
Photo credits- Shivani Baghel