As you read this, you have some pre-conceived notions about me. It could be black, white or grey. But you know what I’d like you to believe? See me as a rainbow; or a blank canvas. I’m all and I’m nothing.
Judgmental. Aren’t we hearing it too much these days?
“Don’t judge me.” “Don’t judge her.” “You are no one to judge, Okay?”
But hey! Are you sure you are not being judgmental?
I won’t deny that I have been judged, ridiculed.
Most of the times, I am guilty to have judged and ridiculed.
There used to be a guy sitting next to me in class tenth. He had flunked previously, twice, I guess. He was a spoilt brat – or perhaps that’s how I “judged” him to be as. I always maintained a distance from him and never really got to know him. To be honest, I have never had a friend like that. Flunking was a big thing for me. I thought it to be an extremely irresponsible and careless behavior.
Four years later, I got to know through a mutual friend that he has come first in his college. But as I should have been, I wasn’t amazed. I said to my friend, “See, this is what happens when you are at the right place doing the right thing.” I had somewhere understood the fact that flunking in one area of life doesn’t define you. It can never define you.
The reason behind this profound learning? I now had a college friend who had flunked twice but in no way had I ever treated him any less. I think he’s sharper, cleverer and much more intelligent than I could ever be ( me, who has always been a sincere and a decent academic) I have never defined him on the basis of his score card. Maybe, because this time I got to know his real story before my judgment could cloud my vision. Thank God for that piece of wisdom!
And the most uncanny thing is; we do not have a way of right and wrong when we judge.
“Just because I drink and smoke, doesn’t mean I am characterless.”
For sure it does not define you. A glass of whiskey should not define your intelligence or your kindness. But if someone does NOT drink or smoke, does it define them? We reach to conclusions like, “Oh, she must be so not fun” or more ludicrous ones like “Oh, she’s so orthodox!”
Drinking alcohol or smoking weed doesn’t symbolize liberalism or modernism. It’s a simple choice. If I am not judging you by the presence of it, kindly do not judge me by the lack of it.
When we judge people, we create barriers. These barriers prevent us from being open and accepting to the world around us. It’s so rare to see people talk about their ideas or their dreams. Why?
The answer is simple. They are scared to be judged and ridiculed. And it’s not just them. It’s us. How many times you had a perfect idea but you shared it with no one because you were caught up with the anxiety of being judged? It makes us stingy. It makes the world extinct of your brilliant ideas and thoughts.
You never put yourself out there, simply for the fear of being too vulnerable or too silly. Well, you might be. But at least you are being yourself. And that’s one in a zillion. You have no idea whom you’re going to inspire today.
We all have stories weaved of our own inhibitions, fear, sadness or happiness. If you have a story, they too have one. If you’re a failure, they too are one. If you’re a success, they too are one. We all are complete in our own unique ways. We have our different sides.
Nothing can define us. Nobody can judge us.
So, the next time you see a woman with a snobbish face in a metro compartment, wearing black heels and red lips, do not think she can’t laugh and run bare feet on grass. She could be the happiest person you could ever meet. You haven’t flipped the coin yet.