Let’s Stop Being ‘The Best Friend’

All my life I have been the best friend.

Not just to one, but to many at different points of time.

You have friends, good friends, best friends and then there is one star-crossed BFF.

You love them, admire them and sooner than you realise, you become their supporting cast. You keep them at a pedestal where soon their life and their action seem insurmountable.

You accept the second lead- almost naturally, but happily.

Maybe, this might not hold true for a lot of you, but I get inspired too easily. Unfortunately, their shadow did engulf me from time to time.

Almost out of admiration, I’d mirror them.

I’d set them as my benchmark. This was in no way intentional, it just became a natural instinct.

So, I’d happily stay in the background while they steal the show. To be honest, I didn’t even give much thought to it till the time I realised how very well even I could be the show-stopper.

Until then, I thought of it as something unattainable, out-of-my-league and just-not-my-domain.

More often than not, we under-estimate not only ourselves but also our ability to outshine.

It’s in the last year or so, when for the first time, I didn’t have that one best friend. I was on my own, charting my own way, figuring out solutions and ideas exclusively in my own domain and surprisingly being my own quirky self.

Honestly, things became simpler. 

I was the only one responsible for my actions. It was freeing and pleasing.

When we say things don’t happen the way we would like them to be, it’s a lot to do with the way we think of them as.

We think we just don’t deserve certain things. We think they are categorically made for a set of people who we clearly are not.

This is where we go wrong.

Till the time, we acknowledge what we deserve, we will stay far away from its manifestation.

Arthur: Iris, in the movies we have leading ladies and we have the best friend. You, I can tell, are a leading lady, but for some reason you are behaving like the best friend.

Iris: You’re so right. You’re supposed to be the leading lady of your own life, for god’s sake!

This two line- conversation from a sweet movie called, ”The Holiday”, had me in awe. My response was exactly like Iris’.

For God’s sake! You gotta be the leading lady of your own life, at least! 

It’s important to be a great friend, be supportive and show them constant love to motivate them in their endeavours.

But it’s also important to be your own friend, support yourself and more than anything else, believe.

Here, let’s promise few things to ourselves- exactly the way we promised our best friends in kindergarten. 

We will be best friends forever and ever. By which I mean,

1. We will push ourselves when we think we can’t do it

2. We will see the best in us when no one can

3. We will be honest and will never delude ourselves.

4. We will  keep coming back to our roots, never having our heads in the air

5. We will be proud of our actions and ourselves

Come on!

Each one of us is a creation of this Universe. We all are blessed with a creative gift. We cannot insult the Universe by calling ourselves second-grade or unworthy. We cannot keep making our soul feel like a second-lead.

It’s our life and we are the lead. 

It’s time we take charge.

Come. The limelights, the red carpet, the stage- it’s all waiting for you! 


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