Who Am I Without My Passion?
Just another girl struggling in her 6×4 cubicle making ends meet while sneaking coffee breaks and soon ready to be sold to the happily ever after’s- because well, this is how life is supposed to be like.
But this is really not someone I strived to be. This is not someone I started out to be. This was not me.
What makes us spark out in this drabby mediocre crowd?
Something which lightens up our eyes when we talk about it, something which radiates our soul when we do it… It’s our passion; our dreams.
It’s something which keeps us going.
And as much exciting it is to fire it, it’s much difficult to keep the fuel burning. The truth is we forget.
We forget how some things made our heart tickle with excitement when we stepped onto it the first time. We forget how the mere fantasy of its manifestation made the blood in our veins rush. We forget what made us start it in the first place and how bad we wanted it.
Because the truth is, dreaming afar is rosy. But when we get on the road, we will be caught up with lots of muck, dirt and potholes. And hey, that got us scared right?
Or maybe, the road was so pleasant that it got us taking it for granted.
Or maybe, we were too naive to be persuaded by what the world thought it’s ought to be like.
So we give our hands up in the air and find ourselves treading the waters like a JOB. Caught up in monotony we lose passion. We forget the fact that we were once passionate about it.
We start finding quick gratifications elsewhere.
We think validations from other aspects of our lives will be more exciting and fulfilling. So our entire macro focus shifts to things and people which can give us quick ego boost- you know, pursuing a love interest so obsessively or glorifying our passion as our darkness thinking what pains gains.
And that’s exactly how we lose the spark in our soul.
My magic is my passion. This is what makes me stand out.
When I refuse to give up to the standardised ways of the society- that’s what makes me.
This holds true for both my personal and professional life.
For example, I always promised myself to never fall into number games. Writing is my passion and it shall be so always. Yet I somewhere did. And definitely that way, I started losing my shine when my expectations didn’t meet and I started seeking approval from validators. Result? I started writing less and less. Less for myself, more for the job. Exactly what I thought I wouldn’t do ever.
Yet, I got so caught up in being like everyone else that I stopped being myself.
But Thank God! We have realizations and few soulful gems around us who do not forget the dreams we once told them about.
We might forget our spark and start settling for a mediocre life, but they do not let us. They remind us to be selfish for our dreams and to prioritize ourselves before anyone or anything else.
I really feel this a lot to do with the way our society functions.There are certain standardised ways in which we are supposed to feel a certain way.
What pains the most gratifies the most.
What engulfs you into darkness is only your true passion.
What gives you sleepless nights is worth the happiness which awaits.
BUT HELL NO!
Love, passion, happiness, dreams- I don’t think any of it has to do with compulsive obsession, darkness or anxiety. These things are supposed to make us feel happy and joyous- IN THE PROCESS.
We get so consumed by the end result we call GOALS that we forget to enjoy the damn journey of it.
And that’s exactly where it no more keeps us going, where it becomes a burden and where we lose the very purpose of it. This is exactly where dreams lose its flight and we come to believe that this is how it ends up always- in mediocrity.
But let’s not fall into it? Let’s really live and extract joy from every step of our glorious journey without making dull excuses to feed our egos. Let’s do it for ourselves- for our passion truly sparkles our soul to make us like no one else.